Family Tips: The Upside of Tears and Tantrums
Tears and tantrums are two of the most wearing behaviours of early childhood. As a parent it’s a behaviour that can be tiring and difficult. But the good news is that there’s an upside to tears and tantrums in young children!
Sometimes it can feel like they are tools employed to manipulate parents. You pick your child up from their centre and the staff tell you what a fabulous day they’ve had, how sweet they are, etc, etc. Then you get them home and their smile turns to a scowl, the foot stamping starts and their tearful demands threaten to unravel you.
Try looking at it from another angle:
Home is a safe haven. It’s the place where we feel comfortable to be ourselves, unwind from the day and relax, for adults and children alike.
Being ‘good’ all day is hard work for children. Being brave when mum or dad leaves; waiting for their turn at an activity; sharing toys that they’d rather keep for themselves – these behaviours require self-control and effort.
Just as adults guard their ‘public’ behaviour, children instinctively behave ‘better’ when they are away from their parents or home environment (usually).
And just as adults sometimes bring home their ‘work stress’ and let it out in the sanctuary and safety of the home environment, children often let off their anxieties and frustrations in the safety of their parents’ company.
So next time your child comes home from a busy day at the centre and falls apart at your feet – congratulate yourself that you have created a safe, loving environment. Rest assured that home is a place where your child feels secure enough to let those stresses out. Instead of getting cross with your child’s behaviour, give them a cuddle and try not to take it personally.
We hope these tips will help you manage the way you view and respond to tears and tantrums.