Family Tips: Modelling Empathy, Managing Power Struggles & Emotions
Early childhood can be a rollercoaster of emotions and as a parent, it can sometimes feel difficult to know what to do. Especially if you find your self locked in a frustrating power struggle. Toddlers and pre-schoolers are learning to be in the world and as a parent, there are lots of ways you can help them to manage their emotions during these times.
I Need A Hug
Next time you find yourself locked in a power struggle with your child – try a hug! Children do better when they feel better, so when your child is misbehaving, rather than making them ‘pay’ for what they have done, encourage them to do better with a simple hug.
Break the power struggle by holding out your arms and telling your child ‘I need a hug’. You might have to say it loudly, or repeat it, until your child hears.
Sometimes children are too upset to give or receive a hug. If your child is unwilling, you might say “We need some cooling off time, and I would love a hug when you are ready.”
Hugs put things right between you and your child, and create an atmosphere where your child is more likely to be willing and able to learn. This provides an opportunity to talk about what went wrong and problem solve together.
The Language of Optimism
Preschool children learn from watching and imitating the adults in their lives. Helping children to develop an optimistic and cheerful outlook on life requires older family members to model positive attitudes.
Children who grow up hearing adults constantly complaining and voicing negative attitudes will find it difficult to view their lives optimistically. Consider the language you and other family members commonly use at home.
Developing Empathy by Asking for Cooperation
Most parents struggle with getting their children to cooperate and help out at times. Instead of resorting to tricks and ploys, bribes and threats, try asking straight out when your child resists cooperation.
“I can’t make you – but I really need your help.”
With these ten simple words, you’re letting your child know that you’re not prepared to get into a power struggle. They can either do what you’ve asked – or not. You’re also letting your child know that they are an important and valued member of the family. You need their help.
It’s Okay to Cry
Crying is a healthy, normal part of your child’s emotional development.
Young children cry for a variety of reasons:
- out of frustration with their own lack of abilities
- out of disappointment or misunderstanding
- because they can’t have what they want
- when they’re feeling tired, hungry or insecure
Sometimes your child’s crying might be frustrating for you, or make you feel bad and you may wish they would stop.
Try to be patient and understanding when your child cries.
Don’t rescue them or give in to their demands, but offer a hug and acknowledge their feelings. “You’re really upset right now. I know you want to stay, but it’s time to leave.”
Hold your child and let them express their feelings before moving on. Let your child know it’s okay to cry!
We hope these tips will help you manage empathy, power struggles and emotions with your young child…